It’s Not Always Perfect

This is more of a personal thing today, I feel guilty. I think about things way too much especially when it comes to people liking me or not liking me. I want answers, I want to know why or if it’s even true. Will we ever get along? It’s because we’re in the beginning stages of knowing each other but it makes it extremely hard when you can so easily get along with everyone else. Plus the others that you are getting along with are willingly talking to you and trying to get to know you. 

I am beginning to think that it’s a personality thing. I’m not shy but I tend to it speak unless I have something to say, or am talked to. But if we chit chat I think that I am an easy person to talk to and get along with. I enjoy chatting and I enjoy listening, I believe for the most part I am more of a listener but when I need to respond I am also good at that too. 

Sometimes I’m a baby with these type of topics. I can’t explain how I feel and when I try to, I feel extremely dumb because I know I’m thinking too much about it. Also, when I try to talk to someone about it and explain how I’m feeling, that don’t totally understand. It’s hard for me to relay my feels but also, others tend to find whatever I’m thinking about that much of a big deal. 

I feel like this a lot in general. I felt this way at my last job and we eventually because friends and for the most part she was someone I enjoyed being friends with. It tends to be the type of person that comes off as wanting to be the head honcho but definitely isn’t. Maaaaybe one day but not at this current moment. They’re the type of person that seems like, because they’re been here longer than you, then they have to upper hand and can sort of boss you around. 

Not when it comes to the last statement, that’s true. They’ve been there longer, they know more and they can correct you and redirect you if you are doing something wrong. BUT they can do it in a way that is nice, gentle, understanding, patience , loving. I don’t want to feel like I’m being yelled out constantly, and talked down unto. It makes me uncomfortable and sometimes, quite honestly, not want to be near or work with you. It makes me want to avoid you and not converse.

Another point is, maybe she’s just that way. That’s how she is and that’s how she functions the best. That can be the way she works and is wired. Who knows, I don’t but I have time to learn and possibly grow closer with her. 

God put me here for a reason and this is just another thing I can lift up to him so he cause show me what I need to do and how I need to handle it in a way that he would. He is an amazing father and however he will lead me is right.

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